(The Ladies of my softball team…Trinity, Carly, Rachel, Me, Erin, Jenny and Megan)
It has been one of those weeks where I pretty much want to drink myself stupid and not remember the past 5 days of my life. Do you ever get the feeling that you have bitten off more than you can chew? Or burning the candle at both ends? Yep… I am guilty of doing both. I am one of those people who says yes to anything and everything without properly thinking about it…whether it is work, a new project, a new crush or whatever I will go in head first or heart first without thinking much of what is needed or the repercussions of making that decision. Then all the commitments I have made pile up and I find myself overwhelmed with it all. I will go, go, go till I am at the breaking point and find myself either so tired that I cannot function properly or I sit in my bathroom and cry hoping it will just fix itself. Well… guess what… it won’t. I find the more that I take n, I miss out on the things I loved the most like reading or cooking or baking or writing in my blog! Sorry blog…I have neglected you. If you do not have an understanding of what my life is like… here is my schedule:
Monday: Work 8AM- 5PM, Teaching Bible study to 1st-3rd graders 6-10pm… I have to get there early to prep, teach, then there is a clean-up and lecture and after class discussion.
Tuesday: Work 8AM- 5PM… Zumba 7-8pm… I go home to work on my bible study and next week’s lesson after Zumba
Wednesday: Work 8AM-5PM still prepping for class and other work things.
Thursday: Work (same hours) then Counselor Training Class for my church 6:30 – 9:30pm
Friday: Work (same) then Adult Softball games… various times between 6:30 and 9:30pm
Saturday: Bible Study 7AM-8AM, Teacher’s meeting 8AM-9:30AM
Sunday: Church 5pm
So my weekends are devoted to fixing lessons plans, running errands, doing laundry, seeing family and friends, maybe the occasional softball practice and whatever else needs to be taken care of. I know what you are thinking… do I sleep?? Yes…sometimes… never enough though, which is a shame. Do I date? I wish…. I want to but I am so worried about not giving that man the proper time he deserves. I have a crush on this guy but I am so scared that if he does say yes to my date that I will have to book him a month in advance due to my scheduling. I want someone in my life… but who would want to share a life with someone with my schedule?? I know I sure wouldn’t… so it has come a time where I need to give up a thing or two in order to make room for the things I truly want in life. I know in my deepest heart that I am still a bit homesick for England and all my friends back there and the life I once had. My life here isn’t easy and I have had to start fresh with everything and it scares me to death of having to put myself out there once more to make friends and try new things. I am not a naturally outgoing person so having to meet new people is hard for me and trying to establish friendships is more difficult. I am not a shallow person so shallow friendships don’t work with me…. If we are friends, we will remain friends for life in my eyes, even if we go years without speaking. I will still think of you, hope and wish for the best for your life. So I want friends and to date and have a life that I love. I don’t “glow” as much as I use to… I miss that glow of pure joy that I once had. I plan to get that glow back… I promise everyone on my softball team I am not always in a crap mood or seem out of it or look like I haven’t slept in 2 weeks. I am usually a very happy lovely person and I am trying to get back to that. So cuts will be made and I am pretty sure I know which thing or things need to go. Then I can make time to read and write more… my book is also looking pretty sad since I haven’t touched it in God knows how long. So I am going back to the things I love and that make me happy :). Thank you for those who are reading this… I know I usually write about books or books I am reading but I just needed to let out some steam and frustration so thank you for understanding.
On a side note… my last posts was about the novel The Lucky One by Nicholas Sparks, and guess what?!?! It is going to be a movie!!!! YES!!!!! SOOO excited!! Here is a link to the trailer below… I do not own the rights but just enjoy. Also… who would like to go see it with me?? Let me know if you are interested! I hope you all are well and in good health and not overwhelmed like I am. If you are… please feel free to rant below in the comments section!